Disclaimer…
This is a personal blog.
Any views or opinions represented in this blog are personal and belong solely
to the blog owner and do not represent those of people, institutions or
organizations that the owner may or may not be associated with in professional
or personal capacity, unless explicitly stated.
My
publicist has been grilling me to write a blog for the past few weeks, but I’ve
been pondering over what I wanted to talk about for my debut
topic. I mean, all the other blogs following the first one will
pretty much go with the flow. However, I wanted my first blog to be fun,
vibrant, and exciting. I wanted it to represent me and my
personality, which is often silly, entertaining, and relaxed. Yet,
as I sit down to write, all that keeps coming to mind are real-life issues that
aren’t so fun and sometimes difficult to discuss. You see, Keisha
Starr, the author, has an imagination that is beyond this world, but, Keisha
Wizzart, the Human Services/Mental Health professional deals with real life
issues on a daily basis that are way more dramatic than anything that Keisha
Starr could envision.
The
recent, sudden death of actor Kristoff St. John, formally known to his fans as
Neil Winters from the daytime soap opera “The Young & the Restless,” is
navigating this blog that I’m writing today. I don’t know the
logistics of his death, mental health status, or family dynamics, but I do know
that he lost his son to suicide five years ago and has been battling depression
and substance abuse ever since. From the news report, I gather that
mental illness played a major role in his death, whether it was directly or
indirectly. So, this is the topic that I choose to talk about. Although
I would love to sit here and give my point-of-view on my favorite reality
shows, discuss what’s hot and what’s not in today’s fashion world, give tips
and suggestions on what it takes to be a successful writer, and recap all the
funny moments of Soulja Boy’s Breakfast Club interview, I can’t
help but to speak on a topic that is often perceived as taboo in my
culture. There are many people suffering from mental health illness,
yet, only a few would admit it, and only a small percentage of the few who are willing
to admit it, will actually seek professional help to address
it. This is especially prominent in the African-American community,
and even worse if you’re an Islander.
I
was born in Baltimore, Maryland, but both of my parents are from Kington,
Jamaica. I was raised in a huge, loving and supportive family, and
even as an adult, I still feel the comfort of knowing that my family will
always have my back. Yet, when I first exhibited signs of mental
health issues, the first thing my family did was go into full-fledge protection
mode. This consisted of drawing a cross on my forehead with olive oil,
praying away the devil and evil spirits, and anointing my soul with holy water
and ginger tea. Yes, ginger tea fixes any and everything in a
Jamaican household. Also, my family was adamant about keeping my
mental health issue amongst the family, and not allowing outsiders to take
advantage of my vulnerability. They weren’t ashamed of me by far,
but they knew that the world we lived in was closedminded about these types of
situations, and that being open about mental illness could one day be used
against me.
Now, on the flipside, when I had a cold or was
physically sick my mother called my doctor, took me to his office for an
evaluation, and gave me medication that was prescribed to treat my
symptoms. She also took a doctor’s note to school to explain why I was
out. Seems pretty logical,
right? Wrong! This practice ultimately made me see
mental and physical health differently. Physical health issues were
perceived as something that a person couldn’t control and needed help
addressing. It was something that I could discuss openly and
shouldn’t feel ashamed of because it wasn’t my fault. Mental
health issues, on the other hand, were something that I felt embarrassed
of. I didn’t feel comfortable sharing that I was sad all the time or
was using food to bring happiness in my life because I thought that people
would judge me and label me as weak-minded. I felt like it was up to
me to fix my own situation without anyone’s help, and for that reason I ended
up being 300 pounds, suffering from depression by the age of twenty-three, and
everyone around me was totally blindsided when I began wilding out and engaging
in all sorts of rebellious
behaviors.
As I
mentioned, I had and still have a GREAT family network of people who provide me
with love, nurture me, and show attention and affection. I’m not the
most successful person in the world, but I have three degrees and one on the
way, a productive career, a handsome fiancé, and two super cool
sons. I have the most wonderful family, close friends, an abundance
of associates and fans who faithfully support me, yet, with all that, mental illness
found its way in my life. I was raised to believe that mental health
was an “in-home” situation that stayed behind closed doors, and that mental
health illness was something that God could fix. Although
my religion and faith played a huge role in my recovery, it wasn’t until I
became open and receptive to seeking professional help that I truly gained
insight on how and why my mental health issues even manifested, and at that
moment, I learned how to control and conquer it.
I
think sometimes people mistake mental illness with something that someone can
regulate. It’s called mental ILLNESS not
mental WILLINGNESS. Let me explain myself a
little further. According to an online dictionary, the term illness
is defined as a disease or period of sickness affecting the body or
mind. Willingness is defined as the quality or
state of being prepared to do something. This means that
mental illness is in fact a disease. It is a serious medical
condition that requires treatment to cure or control just as cancer, diabetes,
hypertension, etc. No one wakes up and says, “This is the day the
Lord has made, let me have a stroke.” No one lays in bed at night
and thinks to themselves, “I think I will make cancer cells grow in my body
so that I can sit and relax at the cancer treatment center for a couple days a
week.” This is the same for mental illness. No one in
this world would willingly wants to have their mind controlled by a psychologic
disorder such as depression, bipolar disease, or schizophrenia, and if there is
someone willing to do this, I can almost bet my life on it that person is
already suffering from a psychological
disorder.
In
today’s social-media-driven world, people are predisposed to varied mental
health situations. I know that I’ve read a few posts from friends
and family on my social media pages that made my left eyebrow stand all the way
up. I’ve seen people crying out for attention by saying the most off
the wall things. I’ve seen people boldly stating that they are
depressed and in need of help. I’ve even witnessed people posting
their suicide letters and saying their final goodbyes to their loved
ones. I, myself, recently shared a post that I thought was simple in
nature, but it turned out that it placed me in a position to be a voice of
reason to several friends and family members who were going through some rough
patches that no one knew about. Hell, I found out that a good friend
of mind was in the middle of an active divorce through this
post. Mind you, I thought she was still happily married to her
husband and was in a good space.
The post
that I made was titled “Mental Health Check-In,” and it basically had different
color hearts on there, and based on the color heart that you placed under the
post, I was able to see where you were mentally at that moment. The
options ranged from “I’m doing great” to “I’m in a really dark
place.” I was both surprised and inspired by many people who weren’t
afraid to be honest and vulnerable about what they were going
through. I actually found time to contact everyone who shared that
they were in a dark place or wouldn’t mind if someone reached out to
them. It was great to see people being vocal about not feeling
mentally stable at that moment and being receptive to receiving help.
Whether
you’re the actual person experiencing a mental health crisis, or you know
someone who is, the most important thing to do is connect them to someone or
resources that could help them. I’m not a medical professional, so I
would not sit here and claim to know the exact signs and symptoms of someone
suffering from a mental health issue. However, based on my personal
experience, education in the human services and marriage and family counseling
field, and countless years of working with an array of people that have been
diagnosed with a mental health issue, I can list some common signs of mental
health illness. Please be aware of certain emotional or behavioral
changes such as prolong sadness and
depression, loss of appetite, dramatic sleep, social withdrawal and a constant
need to be alone, irrational thinking and speech, or engagement
in behaviors that seem strange or can lead to serious
consequences.
If you or
someone you know exhibit any of these signs, call a professional and set up an
appointment right away. The emergency room of any local hospital is
open 365 days of the year, and they have medical staff on duty to help with
mental health needs. If you’re in the Baltimore area you can contact
the Baltimore Crisis Response Unit 24/7 at 410-433-5175. The most
important thing to remember is that you’re NEVER alone, although you may feel
that way. Believe it or not, we are living in a time where it’s not
that people are ignoring you or don’t feel your pain. It very much
could be that they are also going through something traumatic and are coping
with their own pain to the point that yours aren’t visible to their
eye. So, speak up and be vocal. Don’t be afraid or shamed
to say I need help. Again, it called mental ILLNESS not WILLINGNESS! You
did nothing to provoke this disease, but you can do something to make it go
away to live another day!
By Dr. Keisha Wizzart AKA
Author Keisha Starr
